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So this cycle was pretty much a bust. I did not take clomid per my NaPro Dr.'s instructions. I thought my body was all awesome and healed, then the PMS reared its ugly head. It turns out I probably did not ovulate this cycle due to my extremely low progesterone levels. Since my progesterone was so low I took a pregnancy test on P+13 on the slim chance that I might have ovulated and actually conceived. It came out negative as you can tell. My estrogen was pretty much kicking my progesterone's ass, hence the PMS. Which leads me to....
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Reconsidering having another surgery that may help my PCOS condition. I am so sick of my high estrogen levels and PCOS. I am so over PCOS! I am looking for what would be best for me in the long run and not necessarily thinking about getting pregnant at this point. I just want my estrogen levels to go down, so my body can be somewhat "normal." My naturopath even suggested that it might be a good idea for my long term health.
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Enough about that. JJ has been off of work for about a 1.5 weeks due to his company switching projects. It has been nice to spend some extra time together but at the same time I am not getting anything done. We were thinking of going to Disneyland one day and then shot it down due to how expensive it is. We are saving for adoption so every penny counts. Do you hear that kid?! Mommy and daddy sacrificed going to Disneyland to save for your arrival.
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We have not really moved too quickly on the adoption front due to the cost at this point. We are a no debt kind of people so the thought of taking a loan out for it scares the crap out of us. I really wish private adoption was not so expensive in this country but that is a whole other post. I have also been pretty busy studying for this...
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My supervisor visit that is this Saturday and Monday! AHHHHH! Say a prayer for me if you remember please. I know it will be fine and it is more of a learning experience than anything else. The perfectionist in me is freaking out because I want to be the best CrMS practitioner that ever lived and the laid back part of myself just wants to get it over with. I guess I found a good balance?
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Lent is coming and I have no idea what I am doing! I am not ready to let go of Christmas yet, even though it is long gone. Advent and the Christmas season were just so good for me I don't want to move on yet. Lent for me last year was...well Lent. We had just lost Cecilia so I was in a dark place. It was a very fruitful and painful Lent last year, I just don't want a painful one this year. Is it possible to have a joyful Lent? I am not giving up any food items since my diet is very sacrificial but I do want to challenge myself. Hmmm, I guess this will take more thought and prayer.
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Finally I saved the best for last. As I was reading this post from Jen. I discovered the awesomeness of the Guy on a Buffalo videos. JJ and I really like this one and are now convinced we need a Guy on a Buffalo to bring us our baby. Watch the video, you will not be disappointed!
Have a great weekend and for more Quick Takes, visit Jen @ Conversion Diary!
Kat,
ReplyDeleteThat buffalo guy movie is hilarious.
I'm praying for your intentions, especially that the funds will come through for adoption. I bet we could have a long rant session on the expense of adoption...arg. Keep your chin up, though. The Lord will see you through, I just know it.
Stupid PCOS! :(
ReplyDeleteI said almost the same exact thing to my spiritual director that you said in #6...Advent and Christmas were so fruitful and healing, I am not quite ready for Lent...but I also want Lent and Easter to be just as fruitful and healing, but I still feel that relief of surrender, so how can Lent be fruitful if I'm still feeling joyful? My plan is drastic (no social media: FB, Twitter, Pinterest, Blogging!, none at all PLUS a couple other things - yikes!) but I really feel it is what God is asking me to do...to drag my joyful butt into the desert and let Him work in my heart. Yes, there will be lines in the sand because there will be dragging involved.
Anyway, I will be praying for you. And the expense of adoption, ugh! Let's just say it is so cost-prohibitive for us right now we can't even consider it. So I will offer up my frustation at not being able to even discuss it for real for you.
An idea for lent is sacrifice some time for God. Maybe you carve out 30-60 minutes to read your Bible and pray daily. I recommend listening to the Bible for an hour as you get up and get ready for the morning. I know for me I understand better when it is read to me. Especially in the morning before my mind is flooded with all the events of the day. There are many free websites and apps.
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to do this because I am already on the super resricted PCOS diet...
...and I agree, stupid PCOS! I keep praying for a healing miracle! (...inspiration of a research doctor to find a cure for PCOS would be a great miracle too!)
Best of luck with Lent! I agree that I'm not ready. Advent was good, and Lent.... I don't know if I'm ready. But I think you're right that food is not the way for you to go in your situation.
ReplyDeleteKat, I'll make sure to offer up my IL stresses and worries for your supervisor review tomorrow and Monday. I'm glad it'll go to a good purpose. : )
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the cost of adoption; the other morning I was laying in bed fantasizing about winning the Powerball not just so I wouldn't have to worry about money, but so I could help others (like you and Rebecca and Jelly Belly and ....) afford the treatments and adoption costs. I don't know if anyone won the big jackpot, but if so, it wasn't me, so don't expect a check (Sorry.).
Hope your on-site went well! :)
ReplyDeleteI said to my priest a few weeks ago, "I always struggle during Lent." He said, "That's good- you are supposed to struggle!" Wise words! Anyway- hope your visit went well! Love that you are saving for adoption. We are no-debt people too! Of course, that's after we got ourselves out of debt ;)
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