Sunday, February 8, 2015

Wading Through the Chaos

So it has been more than a month since I have posted! So much has happened in our lives and yet it all seems very ordinary. I guess that's life right? 

We celebrated Christmas with our family at our old place. We got this awesome gluten free care package from my SIL in Arkansas. We have enjoyed it so much, especially the brownies :) 

And we had one last roaring fire at the old place too! 

We went to our friend's wedding the 1st weekend in January and had our annual Epiphany party that Sunday as well. We got to bring up the offeratory gifts at the wedding which was a nice surprise and we were honored to do so! 

 We have moved to our new place that we nicknamed "the tiny" because it is a one bedroom apartment that is less than half the size of the house we were living in before. It's cozy and perfect for the two of us and we can still have a child here for at least a year or two so its not that bad. Living in an apartment again is strange after living in a house. It is actually pretty quiet for the most part and feels like a hobbit hole to us. I am unpacking a little everyday and am almost done! We got rid of a lot of stuff and it felt so good to shed what we were not using. For having to find a place quickly and move it has been a nice and peaceful transition for us. We are still within walking distance from our parish/my work as it is a little over a mile away. So it's nice that we can still walk/run in the same neighborhood.

I have to say God has been so good to us and taking care of us through this transition as well as dealing with my LUFS diagnosis. I can't explain it but it all doesn't seem so bleak anymore. I think my initial reaction to bad news is to look at things in a melancholic way and then I process it slowly. We are hopeful at this point about what lies ahead even if that means me having to do trigger shots, ouch! We have to do some blood work in February that we were suppose to do in January but we decided to hold off due to the move. Something that has been a positive is knowing that AF will come and I don't have to guess or agonize over whether I am pregnant or not because I know I am not. It sounds weird but it has given me peace. JJ and I need to talk about it more but I think our plan so far is to do the trigger shots for 4-6 months and work on saving for adoption and kick starting some fundraisers as well. It can sound crazy to do both at the same time but we are hopeful in pursuing both avenues right now. I say why not, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain right?! 

Oh and we also had the flu during all of this. Jack said it was very fitting that we both had it at the same time and it was on the anniversary of losing Cecilia. My mom came and took care of us by making us food, washing dishes and doing some laundry for us. Gotta love my mama! I had a fever of 102, full on body aches and chills. We were in bed for about 2-3 days straight. Stay healthy friends this flu is no joke! It feels so good to feel well again!

Even though we have been topsy turvy lately I really feel like we are handling it well with God's grace. I have been asking God to give me a more grateful heart so that I may see the good I have in my life. The tension of infertility is striving for the life you desire while living the life you have. I hope to write more substantial posts soon and announce some exciting things regarding work. Stay tuned, hopefully it won't be another month before I post again!