Sunday, December 17, 2017

Gaudete Indeed

I imagined many times what it would be like to write this post. I had hoped for this day for many years.

I am pregnant. What a heavy yet ordinary sentence. Having been dealing with infertility and reproductive issues for almost 10 years (well more than 10yrs if you count the horrendously painful cycles and awful PMS I started to have in high school) my mind is trying to understand that I am growing a human being in my body. Prior miscarriage coupled with the years of infertility make this experience for me so much different than your average pregnant mother. I have to exercise my anxiety and scrupulosity calming muscle A LOT more these days.

Taking things day by day and moment by moment is a challenge. So, I just have to go on with what I know right now which is that I am pregnant and my levels are looking great so far. Somedays I hate chicken but love red meat and vice versa. I need to praise God for the present moment and trust Him for the next. I need to be joyful and not just cautious about this pregnancy. There is a new life created through the merciful hand of God working through the ordinary function of our human bodies which He created.

Did I tell you yet that I did not do any trigger shots? I ovulated on my own this cycle and twice to boot once on each side! My usually low fertility signs were amazing on their own without any extra enhancer supplements! And my progesterone was looking great post peak with just taking the standard oral dose and no post peak hcg! When I went in for my NaPro appt. after the detox was done the doctor was pleased with how my chart looked so we scheduled an u/s for a week later to check for ovulation or a LUF. Well at the u/s appt. she confirmed ovulation on the right (which made me a little sad since that tube is blocked completely). She reminded me that the left tube can still pick up the egg from the right side so all hope was not lost. Then she went over to check the left and said "Well, you little over achiever! There is a corpus luteum on this side as well. Thank you Jesus!"

 After the u/s we asked what the plans were for the next cycle. Then she said since I ovulated I did not need the trigger shots any more or post peak hcg shots since my progesterone came back great. I also did not need to do the detox supplements longer. She said basically just keep up with the nutrition plan, take some supplements that I was on prior to detox and my usual post peak progesterone. That was it! She would monitor to make sure there was no LUF each cycle but there was no official cycle plan. Little did we know that conception had already taken place and new life had sprung forth!

 Crazy, right?! I am so used to getting bad news or needing to tweak something that I was stunned to not have such a regimented cycle plan to follow. I LOVE that God showed off His skills because really this could only be Him. I mean come on, I ovulated twice and I was one who had  LUFS for years! I could not ovulate on my own without a trigger shot. That is totally God at work!

We tested on P+13 which was on a Sunday in October and it was actually the Feast of Christ the King in the Traditional Latin Mass calendar. I said a prayer before and just gave it all to God knowing that I would be OK either way. When I read the test I thought it was negative because it was not the tests that I am used to taking, JJ got a different brand this time. So, when I read the test I sighed and said "OK God not this cycle. You are still Christ the King." Then as I was getting ready to throw the test out with the box I glanced at the box and gasped. I had read the test wrong! It was positive! I kept saying "Wait, what?" over and over again which concerned JJ so he started coming toward the bathroom. I took the test to him and showed him that it was positive!

 What a turn of events and emotions in a short amount of time. It is a moment that I hope I never forget. It felt different than when we found out about Cecilia. With Cecilia we were on cloud 9 and excited. With this baby our emotions have been more subdued, calm and peaceful. We don't have any rose colored glasses on and we know we have to take things day by day because we have a long road to July. We are excited yet realistic knowing that we entrust this little one to God and His plans for his/her life. I feel the weight of this responsibility and I am humbled and thankful to be entrusted with this little life.

 I had many years to get comfortable with carrying the cross of infertility and miscarriage. Now, I hope I have many years to get used to carrying the cross of parenthood. My prayer is that I get to meet this baby, have them Baptized and they become a saint.  I want God's will. That is all I want.

Gaudete! Deo Gratias!






33 comments:

  1. Wow!! Congratulations!! I will keep you, JJ, and your sweet baby in my prayers.

    Longtime reader, first time commenting... I, too, struggled with infertility for many years, but have since been blessed with two little ones.

    Renee

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    1. Thank you for your prayers. We appreciate each and every one of them. Congratulations on your two little ones!

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  2. Kat!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!!!

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

    Grow baby grow!!!!!!!!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Thank you! I wanted to tell you when I emailed you back but I had not asked JJ yet and then of course I forgot because my brain is a little loopy at the moment ;)

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  3. GAUDETE!!!!!!

    Omgosh, I rushed right over here to see this when Rebecca told me, suspecting it would be this very news!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!! Congratulations, Momma!!!

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    1. Thank you! It was so cool because when I did the Saint finder for the year when you posted it last week the baby and I got the same Saint!

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    1. Yes it is! Thank you for sharing in our joy :)

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  5. Gaudente indeed!!! Occasional blog reader here. Prayers and many blessings for you, your baby and all your family.

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  6. Beautiful news! Thank you Jesus!

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    1. Amen! I was thanking God yesterday morning in my early morning prayers and I said "Have I thanked you enough? Probably not so, thank you!"

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  7. Wow, congratulations!!!!

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  8. I am so happy for you and will pray for a peaceful pregnancy, free of complications or anxiety. Blessed be God.

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    1. Thank you! We appreciate all the prayers!

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  9. Oh my goodness!!! Congratulations! So happy and excited for you! The three of you are in my prayers!

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    1. Thank you! I hope you and your little one are doing well :)

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  10. Oh, Kat!! Oh I’m so happy for you!!!! I remember so well the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after miscarriage and infertility- I’ll be praying for some relief from that, and for your health, and baby’s!! Praise God!

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  11. I am clearly behind on my blog reading, and look what kind of wonderful excitement I'm missing! So happy for you and praying for you as well!! YAY!!!

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  12. Congrats on your exciting news! I have to check in with more on the blog to follow along on how your little one is doing. With a little one of my own, it's sometimes hard which you will find out for yourselves. 2018 will be an exciting year for you!

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    1. Thank you! 2018 seems like it will certainly be an adventurous year :)

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  13. Congratulations!!!! I saw your reponse on the word of the year post. So thrilled for you! Prayers for a healthy pg & baby and cheers to the best year yet !

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  14. YESSSSSSS!!!!!! PRAISE GOD! This is so so so so so so so very exciting! I'm thrilled for you guys, over the moon happy! Wishing you a joyful, easy, relaxed pregnancy!! :) :) :) Can't wait to "meet" baby in 2018! <3 CONGRATS!!!

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  15. Late to the party, but Congratulations !!!

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  16. KAT!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
    I was randomly going across blogs today and I haven't done that in MONTHS and I saw you had a newer than 2 years ago post (like most of the rest of us, me included!, Haha!) and I saw THIS!!! I have such a huge smile on my face and joy in my heart for you!!! Please know that we will be praying for you throughout your pregnancy for a healthy and full term baby! <3 Now I'm going to have to blog stalk you for updates. :)

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    1. Thank you so much! Yeah, since I am not on FB anymore I don't get as many updates on what is going on with everyone since blogging takes more time than checking the FB feed.

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  17. Such a miracle! Many prayers from here. There is always room for hope!

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    1. Thank you! Yes, there is always room for hope!

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