Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Yeses the Nos and everything in Between

I just wanted to give brief update on what's been going on around here. With regards to our foster to adopt journey we have not had a placement yet. We have gotten 5 calls from our agency though. Three of the calls we said yes to but they did not happen for circumstances that are out of our control. Technically we are still waiting to hear back about the last call we said yes to but it has been weeks so we are pretty sure that is not going to happen. Two of the calls we had to say no to due to the fact that the circumstances were way out of our comfort zone. It is an awful feeling to say no to taking a child in, I think it is the hardest part of this journey for me.

Another difficult part of this journey has been hearing the stories of trauma that these children are coming from and then to make a decision in that moment whether to say "yes" or "no". This has definitely made me grow in intercessory prayer for these children and their bio families. This journey is not for the faint of heart by any means! So, we await the call that will bring us a placement. We entrust ourselves to Divine Providence and rest in Christ's peace. Every time our phone rings and the number matches our agencies area code I tense and then answer. If JJ and I are together we look at each other like "Here we go! Ready! Ahhh!" and then he calmly answers the phone. I have to give huge credit to JJ for being so steadfast and peaceful when I am a ball of nerves at times. For the most part we are both pretty calm but I can get frazzled more easily than he can.

In other news we are making great progress with our NaPro Dr. and her treatment for my LUFS. I have ovulated 4 cycles in a row! Woohoo! The first cycle I ovulated I almost cried because that was the first real chance we had at conceiving in years. We definitely celebrated with some Chick-Fil-A when we found out. We wanted to do a fallopian tube study since my last two surgeries revealed that my tubes had been partially blocked so we have a hunch this could be the case again. We did the tube study this week and she was able to unblock one tube pretty easily but the other is completely blocked. So, we are starting the new cycle plan right away to take advantage of the having at least one properly functioning tube. Both ovaries are looking good though and we have had confirmed ovulations on both sides. So, things are looking up!

JJ and I have been working on our communication skills with one another, we thought we had this communication thing down after being married for 9 years and using NFP the whole time. I know you are rolling your eyes and shaking your head at me right now. Well, no matter how great you think you are at something you can always learn to be better. We still take an active role in Ma Crow's care and Pa Crow as well. I make dinner for them about 3 nights a week, I schedule their appointments, JJ handles the insurance stuff and medical bills, JJ checks in on them almost daily over the phone or in person and I go to most medical appointments with them. They keep us very busy! Hence the need for better communication as a couple.

It does feel like we are in a bit of a desert again as far as growing our family but then again it is appropriate to feel this way during this liturgical season. I am learning to let go of more control because there is nothing I can do to speed this process along. So it is just a bunch of waiting and preparing around here.

For Lent I decided to start eating the candida cleanse way again which means I cut out sugar. Very appropriate for Lent huh?! God will give me the grace necessary. I am allowing myself fruit so I did not cut that out and I did allow myself a couple pieces of yummy gluten free lemon raspberry cake I made for my mom's birthday and the Solemnity of St. Joseph. I also gave up FB and television for Lent. I have been pretty committed to my daily prayer time which was another Lent goal of mine so Lent has been going well.  Happy Lent y'all, I pray it is a fruitful time for you!