Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Birthdays and Blessings

This past week was my husband's 30th birthday! I asked him if he wanted to have a big party to celebrate the festivities and he said no. So instead we went out to dinner on his birthday with some family which was a lot less stressful than a big party. My husband is very low key and I was not that surprised that he did not want to make a big deal out of it. However, I still had to do something so I made him a Happy Birthday banner and some chocolate covered strawberries. I also found him a neat  card made by my friend who has her own card/invitation making business.

I am so thankful to be sharing my life's journey with such a wonderful man and I am so thankful for his life. Sometimes I really can't believe that I am so blessed to be his wife. No matter how tough things have gotten for us and how many times I have been irrational he is there being his patient self. I have learned so much from him about God and unconditional love. There have been times where I have apologized to him because he got a "broken" wife and I have not been able to give him children. He lovingly reminds me that he would not want to be married to any one else and that God is the ultimate giver of life. Going through infertility is hard enough so it is a humbling comfort to know that God would see fit to bless me with such a holy man. I could go on and on about my husband but I will spare you the details.

Sunday we had a table at our Parish's ministry fair. We met some nice people and talked about Creighton and Natural Family Planning. We had fun but were ready to relax and watch some football when we got home that afternoon.

It is always awkward when we go to church functions to promote NFP, I feel like people are expecting us to have x amount of kids. Our parish is a conservative pro-life parish and is very family oriented. There are at least 4-5 fifteen passenger vans in the parking lot for the time we go to Mass and there are a  lot of big families that attend other Masses. We actually don't park in the parking lot anymore, not because of the vans, but now that I think about it, it could be a subconscious thing. We have been there for a few years now, so it is getting better. 

I wish that those couples with children would invite us to dinner or something instead of just awkwardly saying hi or starring at us. I wish that they would remember that they were once w/out children during some part of their marriage whether it was for 9months or years. If they invited us into their family life they could probably get us to babysit for free sometimes and that is a win win situation all around. These are times where I would like to live in a small town where everyone knows each other and everyone brings a potluck dish to Sunday dinner...ok back to the big city reality of smog, traffic and getting ignored when you say hi to someone on the street.

When we first got there and wanted to do NFP ministry I think people thought it was odd that a couple w/out children wanted to teach NFP. It was awkward for us as well, we thought we would have a child by now! It is interesting how God calls the unlikely people to do the unlikely. There are times where I can just feel people pitying us because we are "that couple, you know the infertile one." I really hope instead of just feeling sorry for us, they pray for us. We could use all the prayers we could get to carry out God's will in our marriage.

Sometimes I think that people who do not know us or know our situation are judging us thinking that we use contraception or are using NFP to avoid a pregnancy for the wrong reasons. People thinking that we contracept stings more than the other scenario because the very thought of contraception in our marriage makes my stomach churn. It also hurts my pride because we know, love, and preach church teaching. I guess being falsely judged by others comes with the territory of being a disciple of Christ. The blessed Mother was judged falsely because she was with child before she was married. I am sure she did not scream from the rooftops "People, you have it all wrong!This child is from God and was conceived by the Holy Ghost!" Her humility is so beautiful, I pray that I can have an ounce of her grace and acceptance of God's will!

1 comment:

  1. I could relate so much to your paragraph under the photo of the strawberries - especially the paragraph about "irrational and patient selves" - that is SO The Man and I. He's so calm and reflective and I freak out.

    AND your last paragraphs about teaching/promoting NFP without children. It's so ironic, finding NFP is what got us INTO ministry, changed our marriage and for a while I thought we would be the couple who didn't feel called to have children, but could speak to the effectiveness of NFP for avoiding pregnancy. And now, I know our infertility causes people to question it's effectiveness...and the whole "surrounded by big families" - yep, here too!

    All this to say - Happy 30th birthday to your DH and many prayers coming your way.