Friday, December 28, 2012

Quick Takes on Growing Our Family

Here is a brief update at where we are at with growing our family, I almost forgot we were trying to do that.......

--- 1 ---
On the adoption front we contacted two agencies. One agency is nationwide but their price tag consisted of about $47,000! Yup, that's right you did not read that wrong! We are now taking donations for our adoption fund, just kidding kind of. They also seem to not care very much about the adoptive parents just the birth mother.
--- 2 ---
Another agency only charges for the home study they do for you but they are out of state in MN. The woman from that agency said if we lived in MN it would only be about $400, you are not reading these numbers wrong people. Since we are out of state we would need to do a home study in our state and fly to MN to meet their social worker so we can be listed with them. If a birth mother picked us we would need to spend a few weeks after the birth of the baby in MN waiting to be cleared to leave the state. This all sounded hopeful to us until the woman told us that it was a long shot that one of the birth mothers would pick someone out of state. Hello who would not want to pick us and CA isn't so bad right?! I do really like the agency in MN though. They are completely donor funded and they deal mainly with women who are in crisis pregnancies who have chosen adoption.
--- 3 ---
I am realizing that we probably won't be adopt a hispanic baby in CA or anywhere in the US. There is a really bad cultural stigma/way of thinking, that it is better to abort or raise your baby in very poor conditions than to allow someone else to love and raise your child. I don't know where it came from but that is the sad truth here, there are very few hispanic babies up for adoption. This reality makes me sad not because I have my heart set on a hispanic baby but because I know there are many hispanic babies aborted. This also pushes me to learn spanish so that I can reach this community and let them know that adoption is a noble choice for their child.
--- 4 ---
There are more agencies that were recommended to us to contact by our super cool Facebook group but we haven't contacted any of them. It is a little discouraging because the money varies from agency to agency as does the attitude toward adoptive parents. I feel like I need a fairy godmother to walk us through the process of adoption because I really have no idea what we are suppose to do! Is there an adoption checklist out there somewhere? I am better with lists and a plan. If there isn't one out there I am going to make one, uh-oh here comes my choleric side.
--- 5 ---
On the biological front we are suppose to be back on cycle plans. We forgot to pick up the prescription for clomid in time at the pharmacy so I guess we are not doing that this cycle. Plus we need to find a place to do an ultrasound near us so they can send the results to our NaPro doc. So we are basically hoping that my body will ovulate on its own this cycle, hey a girl with PCOS can dream can't she?
--- 6 ---
Aunt Flow came on Christmas Eve and she brought cramps back with her this time. What is up with AF coming on holidays? I was really liking not having any cramps! I did take Tylenol because I did not want to deal with cramps with all the stuff I wanted to get done before Christmas. I laughed and found it ironic that I had cramps the day before we celebrate Jesus' birth and Mary probably did not feel pain from childbirth. JJ and I asked for her intercession and the cramps went away before the Tylenol even had time to work. That was my Christmas miracle!
--- 7 ---
We are hopeful for the coming year and we are so ready for 2012 to be over! We have no idea whether we will adopt this year, conceive, or both. Hopefully we will grow in love whatever may come. Happy almost New Year!  
For more Quick Takes, visit Jen @  Conversion Diary!


  1. That is crazy that there is such a wide range of price tags! I don't understand that at all. I also hate that we are in a place that people think that they couldn't possibly give their child up for adoption, but abortion is okay. How on earth do people think that? I guess maybe they have bought into the lie that at the time of abortion "it's just tissue" because otherwise it makes no sense at all.

    Praying that 2013 is "the" year for you!

  2. Well you do know someone in MN that you could stay with in the event you do want to go wirh that agency....just saying!! :)

    If you are referring to the HF adoption agency - I have heard good things about them. Good luck!

  3. #4 - I think you should ask in the FB group if anyone has or could create an adoption checklist based on their experiences.

    #5 - I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who forgets to do important things related to IF and medical treatment - I've had back spasms since the 22nd and my chart is reflecting it - I have no idea where I'm at and what meds I should be taking at this point...I'm tempted to just call this cycle a bust and move on. Though, we used 2 very early fertile days, so there is something holding me back from not taking my HCG at all...I emailed my FCP, poor woman :).

    Keeping you in my prayers as you move forward towards both adoption and biological children.

  4. Thinking about the money aspect of adoption is so sad, isn't it? When researching adoption agencies, it's the first thing I look for! Have you heard of Lifetime Adoption Center? We looked into them (they are based out of CA) because a good friend of mine had success with them. If I'm remembering correctly, their fees aren't as horrible as some of the other national agencies. I think they might even have a payment plan? It's so hard to know what to do! We went with a local agency because their fees were low, but I think our wait time was longer because they only work with birthmothers in our state. I'm praying we'll be able to adopt more and the adoption tax credit goes through this year!

    1. Thanks GIMH! I am looking into Lifetime Adoption Center. I will take you up on the email offer, there is so much we don't know yet. Did you read any adoption books? There are two that I am tempted to buy on amazon...

  5. Best wishes and feel free to email me with any questions! :)

  6. The adoption front sounds daunting, but looks like there are some helpful hands willing to share. We are total flakes when it comes to fertility treatments. My HCG was at the pharmacy for 2 months before I picked it up- haha. I just spoke with the nurse and he reminded me that I was supposed to take temps and pulses for 2 weeks over a month ago. I totally forgot. Oops!!!! oh well. We do the best we can each and everyday. Praying for you and your family!

  7. New to your blog. :) Just wanted to chime in that I am so sad to hear about the anti-adoption mindset in the Hispanic community. I had no idea! (Although once, I dated a guy with this mindset... like Catholic Mutt said, "How did we get to this place?"). Praying you'll find the right fit for you regarding the agencies.

    1. Thank you for the prayers! I really appreciate them :)

  8. If you are referring to Holy Family Adoption Agency...beware! I am not saying they are a bad agency. We worked with them when we lived in MN. Mary B is so sweet. BUT, they have VERY FEW successful placements. We had 2 failed adoptions with them. Their heart is in the right place, but their method is more on pushing adoption as an alternative to abortion, rather than counseling the woman to make the best decision for themselves and the baby...which in turn causes many of these women to decide to parent at the last minute...before or after the baby is born.
    Just kinda get what you pay for.

  9. Julie, thanks so much for the insight! We really want to go with an agency that treats the birth mothers well and is not just trying to take their baby. The price tag sounds great but we don't want to put ourselves through more emotional turmoil than we have to!