Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Calling It Quits...

After much prayer and discernment JJ and I have decided to stop NaPro treatments at the end of the year. We are going to give it six more months and then we are going to move on to pursuing adoption full force or not pursue anything. It is a tiring journey to go through medical treatments to have a family. We feel like we have been at this much longer than we have and I feel much older than I am. We were originally thinking that the surgery would be the last thing we would do but after talking we decided that we still want to hold onto having more biological children.

I went to confession the other day which then turned into a private Mass that JJ and I got to go to with one of our favorite priests. Well I turned confession into a little bit of spiritual direction because I was so desperate for some spiritual counsel. I brought up the confusion on whether to continue with NaPro or to give it up. The priest, who knows our story very well, said "I don't think you are ready to give it up just yet. From what I know of you and JJ you really want to live out your vocation with children. The fact that you were able to conceive before shows that there is hope for more biological children.  There is no harm or sin in stopping NaPro but maybe you should give it to the end of the year." His words were confirmation on what we have been thinking! Then we had Mass which we were one of the intentions and he prayed that God would bless us with children. It was such a blessed time and exactly what we needed to get us through the next 6 months of treatments and hoping to have more biological children.

So that is our plan and hopefully by our 6 year anniversary in Dec. we will be pregnant or have some direction on what God wants from us. We are going to not take anything to help me ovulate for 2 cycles to see if the wedge resection helps me to ovulate on my own, then we are going to try Fe.mara again for 2 cycles and then our last resort will be 2 cycles of the dreaded clomid. I figure I am willing to go all in for the next six months knowing that there will be an end in sight. I will not do endless cycles of drugs, it is just too hard on me and my body. We will also still be doing a gluten and dairy free as well as low sugar diet plus our supplements and exercise.

I don't know if after the six months we will stop NaPro forever or just take a break for a year or more but God will let us know in time and it is nice to know that we can pick it back up again if we feel inclined to.

Please pray for us! This is a very trying journey. We are both feeling tired and weary probably more so me than JJ as I am the one whose body is going through all of this. I feel like I am on the last leg of a marathon and I need to dig deep within me to find the strength to finish strong. I was never an athlete but I know what endurance is and I feel like I need some of that right now. I will be stepping it up in my prayer life or at least trying to because His grace is what is going to get me through. We are praying for a miracle this next six months and above all we pray God's will be done in our lives!

12 comments:

  1. What an awesome opportunity to have a private mass. Your priest sounds like a wise and wonderful counselor.

    Sometimes the best thing to do is just what you are doing. Set a limit as to how far or long you are willing to actively try with intervention and then move on.

    Please know you are in my prayers!

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  2. I will be praying for you. These are not easy decisions to make, not at all, and I agree with Donna, having a time limit (if only it is that is when you will re-evaluate) makes things so much easier for us. While it can bring some anxiety at the end of the time frame, it always feels so much better knowing that we don't have to decide forever.

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  3. It sounds like a very wise plan. Praying for you!

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  4. You are so blessed to have such a wonderful priest! Continuing to pray for you!

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  5. I too love the story about the priest! What a blessing. You and JJ have a beautiful marriage and I pray this 6 months is filled with peace. I think it's so wise of you to know when enough is enough. And the endurance you've built up / are still building means you're a stronger person all around! Many prayers coming your way!!

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  6. You'll be in my prayers. That must be such a hard decision, I'll pray above all that you continue to feel at peace about it all.

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  7. Hang in there. God will give you strength. I am so hopeful since you had the surgery. Praying for peace during the next 6 months.

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  8. What a beautiful reflection on discernment. Thank you for sharing. You are in my prayers!

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  9. Thanks for the prayers ladies! It was not an easy decision but we have had so much peace about it!

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  10. Know that I will be praying for you too. God WILL show you the way. I believe it.
    Much love & prayers!

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