Sunday, February 8, 2015

Wading Through the Chaos

So it has been more than a month since I have posted! So much has happened in our lives and yet it all seems very ordinary. I guess that's life right? 

We celebrated Christmas with our family at our old place. We got this awesome gluten free care package from my SIL in Arkansas. We have enjoyed it so much, especially the brownies :) 


And we had one last roaring fire at the old place too! 


We went to our friend's wedding the 1st weekend in January and had our annual Epiphany party that Sunday as well. We got to bring up the offeratory gifts at the wedding which was a nice surprise and we were honored to do so! 

 We have moved to our new place that we nicknamed "the tiny" because it is a one bedroom apartment that is less than half the size of the house we were living in before. It's cozy and perfect for the two of us and we can still have a child here for at least a year or two so its not that bad. Living in an apartment again is strange after living in a house. It is actually pretty quiet for the most part and feels like a hobbit hole to us. I am unpacking a little everyday and am almost done! We got rid of a lot of stuff and it felt so good to shed what we were not using. For having to find a place quickly and move it has been a nice and peaceful transition for us. We are still within walking distance from our parish/my work as it is a little over a mile away. So it's nice that we can still walk/run in the same neighborhood.

I have to say God has been so good to us and taking care of us through this transition as well as dealing with my LUFS diagnosis. I can't explain it but it all doesn't seem so bleak anymore. I think my initial reaction to bad news is to look at things in a melancholic way and then I process it slowly. We are hopeful at this point about what lies ahead even if that means me having to do trigger shots, ouch! We have to do some blood work in February that we were suppose to do in January but we decided to hold off due to the move. Something that has been a positive is knowing that AF will come and I don't have to guess or agonize over whether I am pregnant or not because I know I am not. It sounds weird but it has given me peace. JJ and I need to talk about it more but I think our plan so far is to do the trigger shots for 4-6 months and work on saving for adoption and kick starting some fundraisers as well. It can sound crazy to do both at the same time but we are hopeful in pursuing both avenues right now. I say why not, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain right?! 

Oh and we also had the flu during all of this. Jack said it was very fitting that we both had it at the same time and it was on the anniversary of losing Cecilia. My mom came and took care of us by making us food, washing dishes and doing some laundry for us. Gotta love my mama! I had a fever of 102, full on body aches and chills. We were in bed for about 2-3 days straight. Stay healthy friends this flu is no joke! It feels so good to feel well again!

Even though we have been topsy turvy lately I really feel like we are handling it well with God's grace. I have been asking God to give me a more grateful heart so that I may see the good I have in my life. The tension of infertility is striving for the life you desire while living the life you have. I hope to write more substantial posts soon and announce some exciting things regarding work. Stay tuned, hopefully it won't be another month before I post again!    

       

18 comments:

  1. Best line of this was hands-down "striving for the life you desire while living the life you have". Love that! And it's so true. I'm really glad to hear that life is "ordinary" right now and that the move went well and you are in a place that is comfy and hobbit-y. I've noticed that when I get sick in a new house, it starts to feel more like home. Is it the same for you? You SIL's care package was so sweet!

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    1. I was actually sick at our old place so I felt like I left the bad experience w? our previous landlord there with the sickness, lol! I did have AF at the new place so it does feel more like home I guess ;)

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  2. i'm glad that it sound like your holidays went well and that you're settling in! Its sounds like God has given you so much peace, and its so beautiful how well you're handling things.

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    1. Peace has been a running theme for us and I am so thankful for it!

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  3. Kat, I love you. Mind sending me some of your joy and trust in a care package?

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    1. I love you so much Audrey! Part of this joy was the time we got to spend with you a couple months ago. You really blessed us so much. Praying for you my dear!

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  4. I am so glad that the move went well and you are settling into your new place happily. I love the description of it as a hobbit hole!

    I had to do trigger shots a few times when we were working with our RE, and I found the single trigger shot a lot easier to handle than the post-peak HCG I've been on with our NaPro doc. Granted, I'm sure some of that is simply one shot vs. four, but it was also nice that the trigger shot we used was a pre-loaded syringe (which undoubtedly made it more expensive, but there was less concern about reconstituting it and measuring it).

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    1. JJ and I have been watching the LOTR trilogy again the last couple weeks so we are all hobbity around here :) Good to know about the single trigger shot, we may opt for that one because JJ hates needles. I do have some nurse friends that I can ask to help administer the shots the first couple times so we have some reassurance. What were your side effects? That is something we are looking into right now.

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    2. I was on Clomid with Ovidrel trigger shots; I don't remember having additional side effects, though the Ovidrel may have heightened the breast tenderness and nausea. Overall, though, still not as bad as I've had it with the HCG; I've had a couple of months on it where I've spent the post-peak phase waking up every night to pee. I wouldn't mind any of it if it was for a good reason, but after all this time, I can't consider side effects a good reason.

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  5. The flu is the worst, ugh :-(

    I'm glad the new place is working out. We are going to purge a lot of "stuff" for our cross country move in June, and I'm kinda really looking forward to it.

    "So much has happened in our lives and yet it all seems very ordinary. I guess that's life right? " yep :-)

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    1. It was a bad flu, I haven't had the flu since I was at least a teenager. Oh my goodness, I will pray for a smooth transition for your cross country move! How exciting!

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  6. Sorry to hear about LUFS... It is a hard diagnosis to have.

    So miss all the easy made gluten free stuff!

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    1. Yeah LUFS is the worst! Can we send you care packages where y'all are? If so I would love to send you some boxed, relatively healthy gluten free goodies :)

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  7. I'm glad you're getting settled in your new home! I'm weird in that I love to purge what hasn't been used in awhile ~ whether it is selling it on a Buy-Sell-Trade site or donating it to someone who can gratefully use it, it lightens my load a little. The extra space is good too. :)
    Exploring both options in treatment and adoption sounds like a great plan! Giving God the opportunity to work in multiple ways ~ it sounds like a win-win to me.
    I hope your flu is the only sickness you'll have all winter - being so suck - yuck! Spring can't get here soon enough. :)

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    1. Yes, I love to get rid of stuff! I guess I have this fear of becoming a hoarder or something, lol! We really feel like the ball is no longer in our court, it is in His court. It's only taken us 6 years to figure this out, hopefully it sticks :)

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  8. I love the hope that's shining through! And glad to hear things are going well with the new apartment. :) Continued prayers for you guys!

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  9. I'm so happy that you're over the flu and having some peace with where you live and how things are going!

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